🌠enero🌠

January, thou art on the cusp of completion, though the year is but begun. 

and DANG, did ya fly by - is this what age feels like? *joints creak*

- be that as it may, I'd have to say - January has been unexpectedly good. As someone who hopes for the best, prepares for the worst, I gotta say that sort of surprise...uhhhh,,....💥surprises💥 me. 😎

but whew, if I'm being honest, it didn't start out very punk pop cash munny (if u catch my drift), as my fam and I had to quarantine due to a 'rona exposure. Aside from the stress of the first day (not wanting to miss classes, be siccer than I already am, et al), and the annoyance of not seeing some ppl that were in town during break :( , I adjusted pretty quick. We all tested free of ~the virus~ consistently, PTL. And, on the bright side, I got to spend a good bit of time reflecting on the old year + planning for the new one. 

Speaking of bright sides, that's *flourishes pen* one of my New Year Alterations I've been enacting. Inasmuch as I remember, thanking God for 10 things per day (also at the additional recommendation of my school counselor)💖. It definitely has brought a lot of benefit with it (though not perfect). Honestly, deciding NOT to shoot for "perfection" in my 2022 habits has been a life-changer. That really was a big ole Roadblock in previous years' attempts at change. I also somewhat stink at "catching up" on things like that (I tend to give up altogether), so it's really paid off to - idk, not go that route? 

Feels good 2 b a gangsta iyk what I mean 

- Said new years resolutions  lifestyle changes generally sort out into several categories: Spiritual, Community, Work/School, Good-For-Mes, and Creativity. Not gonna paste all of those in here (gotta keep some secrets ya know hehe), but so far...pretty good. 80-20 accomplishment vibes still going strong. 

Let's see, what else? Academics are thriving decently, I'd say. Classes started the 5th, and there's been a fair share of disruption with good ol' Omi spreading about; yet, the work gets done (though I slept VERY little last week) 🍵, and I enjoy it alongside my classmates rather a lot. SOMEONE SHOULDA TOLD ME VET SCHOOL WAS THIS ENJOYABLE, I WOULDA LOVED TO HAVE KNOWN 😜

me n part of the anatomy lab squad 

Starting to look/apply for summer work experience(s) and potential part-time job(s) for during the school year. Fighting the anxiety that used to be the standard during undergrad - why is it so hard to (mentally) switch from scarcity-to-prosperity models? Like, I can PICK what work I want to do? 

w a w 
    

Also, I really am hoping for a new car soon - sweet Cherry (my current Miracle Car) has been great, but is less able to travel far (which will be necessary in my future). She's had some big repairs recently (including her tire rods, which snapped while I was driving #stressful ). Gotta get her to pass inspection first tho 😂

Ministry work has been popping - I love what I do, and feel super fulfilled (though a bit thin stretched at times, ngl). Women's ministry has especially blown up (in a good way) - so many things to do/facilitate, so little time *sigh*. Been living that social schmocial life, too - I still pinch myself a little at the wealth of that I see. Like, fr fr. Life was so darn lonely, not too long ago, it feels like. It's rather humbling, feeling so secure and cared for within my respective communities. 😊

Been staying active in my creative sphere, for sure - music, dance, drawing, henna, baking, the whole 9. Keeps me feeling happy as well. 

Also been pretty active health-wise - had some episodes of food-poisoning and yuck tummy, which dropped my appetite for a bit. But I've been consistent (a word I have B E E F with usually) with exercising, stretching, and eating intuitively + nutritiously. And, tbh, I like how I'm starting to look after a month of that! 

Though that seems like a pretty shapely list of highlights (at least to me), there've been some tough spots, realizations, and repentances throughout this. Insomnia, cluster headaches, moodiness, stuff breaking and plans changing still swing me for a loop at times, as do new realizations about myself. Such as my tendencies to Dress Up my worries/sadness to others; deny my deeply inherent desire to be chased after and cherished (especially by God Himself); and hesitate to ask others for help when I'm desperately needing it (and, somehow, so willing to provide it to others). 

The type of stuff you reflect upon at 2am, letting your thoughts float out of your mouth and to Yahweh's ears. Yet another thing He's been pulling me towards - to express my heart freely to Him constantly. Somehow, He desires it - desires me. Been coming back to that a lot this January - and the question of how I'll respond to His pursuit of me. Forwards or back? 

- Ooop, it is WORKOCLOCK, and I have several lectures to watch before I tuck in for the night, so we'll snip the story here (for now). 

Overall, yeah, this month has been beautiful - bittersweet moments, fumbles and successes and all. I lived, and that is a trophy of great price on its own. I only got one of these lives, after all. 

till later buckaroos 

listen to smiley by yena bc my obsession with it is almost concerning :)))

🌹 ~hew